How do you start over?

It's no surprise that my old band, The Appearance, is long gone. After watching the label, management and other members lose motivation and drop out one by one, I spent over a year trying to figure out ways to salvage all the hard work put into the project. It took a long time to realize I was chasing ghosts and finally called it quits last year. I had a short stint in a local punk band but that didn't last very long either. Not because they were a terrible band or anything. I guess I just needed the time to relax and remember all the reasons why I love music.

Even though I'm on my own and back at the beginning I'm armed with few more of life's lessons: Chasing ghosts is only a waste of time and energy. There is no way to salvage the past. It is much better to simply dust yourself off and start over after falling flat on your face. Secondly, take the time to remember.

The only thing I know how to do is to keep going. I've spent the last 6 months writing and now have a hard drive filled with a handful of partially written and recorded songs. The only problem with a slate wiped clean is a slate wiped clean. It's takes more time to decide where to begin. But there is no rush. I don't have deadlines to meet.


I started thinking,"If The Appearance was a complete failure; what is my definition of success?" If money and recognition is truly what I love then yes, I failed. But I love writing and performing. Of course I have goals as to what extent but a life spent doing both would be considered a success and quitting would be the only true failure.